The world is falling apart in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and it’s all because of one dragon and it’s up to the players to save it! However, all those bandits won’t kill clear themselves out of the caves around Whiterun, nor would Nazeem shut up about the Cloud District. So what is there to do other than to become a Thane of all holds, become the Archmage of the College of Winterfell, and live happily ever after in Solitude before saving Skyrim.
That’s pretty much how it goes every playthrough with different degrees of variation. All of them have one thing in common: avoiding the main quest. After all, when the side quests are more interesting, rewarding, and just plain fun, then who can blame the players? So we all agree that that’s the best way to play Skyrim, now let us celebrate that procrastinative mindset with some memes, featuring 10 side quest jabs at Skyrim.
10 STEAL THIS, KILL THAT, HEADS ROLL, CREDITS ROLL, ~FIN~
Play enough quests in Skyrim and its easy to see a recurring pattern that just won’t let up. All quests really just involve kill, steal, obtain, or all of those combined above. Thankfully they still have a bit more flavor involved with each quest thanks to the lore behind Skyrim and some nuances.
Even so, it’s hard not to skip all the dialogue because the quest marker is all that matters in the end. Why do it again and again? Because at least in side quests, the players have more agency compared to being used as a mere pawn by the Blades or Greybeards in the main quest.
9 THIS LITTLE SIDE QUEST HERE CAN FIT SO MANY OTHER SIDE QUESTS!
While a lot of them do feel the same-ish and some are just blatant recycling of other quests, there are still some diamonds in the rough. Those are the side quests that lead down a rabbit hole of an overcomplicated plot be it about High Elves, Snow Elves, or just some Elves that need killing. Elves are just not welcome in Skyrim.
Side quests that lead to other side quests are also often a narrative treat and tend to be more memorable than the main quest especially with the reward and choices they offer to the players. Hence, something as menial as selling loot (or stolen stuff) is an adventure.
8 NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF THAT GOAL: THE CLOUD DISTRICT
In hindsight, the Dragonborn is quite an amazing individual in Skyrim. His or her potential is limitless and they can probably even become the ruler of Tamriel if they wanted! After all, they can do anything they set their mind to with the added bonus of being able to respawn.
Even that aspect is explained in the lore. Too bad the Dragonborn is way too preoccupied with spelunking and stealing soul gems and health potions from hapless households. While they’re at it, raiding the pantry is also a necessity. Those vegetables can save lives!
7 SO MY NEMESIS, WE MEET AGAIN!
One of the most interesting and forced side quests on the players is the fabled Ebony Warrior that keeps assaulting the Dragonborn every chance he gets. He does only appear starting level 80 but he’s a worthy nemesis nonetheless.
That’s because he’s practically a mirror of the players. He even complains that there is nothing left to do in Skyrim because he finished all his quests and slain all his villains. Well, it’s not the Dragonborn’s fault he’s oblivious to the existence of modding. If only the Ebony Warrior knew how to mod, we wouldn’t have had to kill him over and over again.
6 YOU BE GENTLE NOW, DRAGONBORN
The beauty in video games like Skyrim is that there is power in ignorance. Not being aware that the world needs saving and that so many activities are in store that can make the players too powerful for the main quest makes them too dangerous.
They’re not only a danger to the main villain of the game but also to all the citizens of Skyrim. Because when all has been done and there’s nothing left to pursue, most Dragonborns just destroy everyone after a meditative quick save. Admit it!
5 “THE HORSES OF SKYRIM ARE HARDY AND STRONG”
Without horses, Skyrim would have been a more miserable place. After all, they are the backbone of mountain climbing– a feat that even the Dragonborn can’t do. The Dragonborn, with his pathetic bipedal physique, can only hike.
As we all know, two legs are far less superior than four with hooves. Skyrim has proven the evolutionary superiority of horses, which can scale mountains at a near 90-degree angle while walking backward. Who needs wings with mounts like that?
4 HOL’ UP ALDUIN
Urgency is not something that the Dragonborn is capable of understanding. After all, saving the world is understandably too cliche. It’s not like the players chose to be the Dragonborn anyway, most of us just want to find a collector’s edition of The Lusty Argonian maid or become a Daedric artifact collector.
So it’s no surprise that Alduin is viewed as less of a priority. That meme above perfectly sums up the state of what usually happens when players find out that there are exactly 166 Nirnroots in existence.
3 NO TURNING BACK
Speaking of Nirnroots, there’s no other way to complete that exclusive greenhouse-worthy collection without venturing into the very depths of Skyrim’s underworld. That place is none other than the wretched hive of the Falmer and Dwemer Ruins alike, Blackreach.
What’s surprising is that many of us will actually just stumble upon this deep dank hidden world with something as simple as a bandit cave venture. Before long, players will be presented with glowing fungus, countless Dwemer death machines, and no exit on sight. But hey, at least there’s tons of Nirnroot to harvest.
2 EENIE-MEENIE-FUS-RO-DAH
Don’t believe that animosity of the meme above for one second, side quests are a gift from Talos himself and should always be accepted. It just keeps on giving. That’s why most players would be surprised that they have a novel’s worth of side quests in their journal after just a few hours of wandering around.
The only problem most players will face upon accepting Skyrim’s generously healthy serving of ADD-triggers is which one to prioritize.
1 TODD HOWARD AWAITS YOU IN SOVNGARDE
Now, here’s one of the best reasons why side quests are plain better, they give players actual loot! In fact, some of the most powerful items obtainable in the game, the Daedric Artifacts, are acquired through side quests only.
So what reward do the players get for vanquishing a world-eating dragon and fixing Skyrim’s political turmoil? Nothing the side quests haven’t already given! Even the children of Whiterun don’t acknowledge you for saving them and everything else. Oh well, there’s always Fus Ro Dah to make them aware of your achievements.
NEXT: Skyrim: 10 Things That Make No Sense About The Dawnguard
